Sex and Sensibility

sex
What is sex?

Let’s begin with a basic definition. I define sex as an intimate activity that involves the use of the genitals. Arguably, the 7 main forms of sex includes:

  • Vaginal Sex – (penis to vagina intercourse)
  • Oral Sex – (mouth to genital contact)
  • Anal Sex – (penis to butt intercourse)
  • Fingering/Hand Job – (hand to genital contact)
  • Dry Humping – (genital contact without penetration)
  • Masturbation – (sexual activities done individually)
  • Phone sex – (conversations on the phone simulating sex)
Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation is so fluid these days. People tend to define themselves based on their romantic attraction and/or sexual preferences. A person can be heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, bisexual, asexual, polysexual and trust me, the list goes on. The sexual orientation of a person isn’t even permanent and can change at any given time. Throughout this article, however, I’ll be focussing on the terms of heterosexual sex.

Consent

You would think that consent of sex before engaging in the activity, should be common pre-requisite by now, in the year of our lord, 2022 but here we are, still needing to explain to people that having consent for sex is important. Consent means that all parties involved, being of conscious minds, are aware of the act to be performed and willingly agree to partake without being drugged, drunk or the use threats or manipulation. The lack of consent is punishable by law. The issue, however with proving consent is that in most cases, people don’t verbally request sex; they tend to initiate it with body language. A lot of women haven’t quite learned how to say NO to someone, as such they sometimes proceed without wanting to, then make their accusations afterwards.

Traditionally, some men feel like it is their duty to “convince” a woman to have sex with them. They may buy the woman dinner, purchase gifts or even escort her to social outings and expect sex in return. Sometimes their method of persuasion is not very effective so they use unscrupulous means to get what they want. Statistically speaking, there are more cases of men being the aggressors in legal cases of sexual harassment than women.

The disparity of sexual interest between men and women

Based on my general observation of society and discussions I’ve heard, men want sex more than women. This phenomenon seems to be common among male and female animals as well. Studies upon studies have shown that men experience more frequent arousals on a daily basis when compared to women. It’s a fact that prostitution is more popularly a venture where men pay women for sex verses the opposite. It is even said that nuns are better at honouring their vow of celibacy than priests/ clergymen. There is an article on webmd.com that digs into a deeper analysis of how much higher the sex drive of a man is, as compared to a woman.

There are varying factors that may affect a woman’s libido. Maybe, it’s the biological difference between male and female hormones or maybe it’s because most women experience less feeling of satisfaction during sex. Culturally, a woman’s sexual interest is excessively criticized by society and biological the woman has a bigger “burden” to bear in the event of pregnancy. A result of this disparity is that more men are likely to masturbate or seek to satisfy their urge with multiple partners.

A woman’s value is often tied to the idea that the less amount of men she has sex with, the more she is worth. Consequently, a girl’s virginity is strictly protected, until a certain age at least. The boys on the other hand, are encouraged to have sex as much as possible. With all the head start they have, you’d think they’d learn how to be better sexual partners. Ironically, of the men I’ve been with, the ones with the least sexual partners provided a better sexual experience. It’s the concept of taking the time to provide QUALITY sex vs focusing on the QUANTITY of sex had.

Sex before Marriage

Religiously speaking, sex before marriage is considered wrong. As such, societies that are built upon a strong religious background tries to encourage people to abstain from sex until they are lawfully married. Reality-wise, this is a recipe for disaster. In the Christian culture you are more likely to find people who has committed fornication than not.

Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. Compatibility suggests that the parties involved are ”like-minded” and have a natural ability to work harmoniously. If one party has to force themselves to reject their own desires to fulfill the desires of the other party then conflict is likely to be constant. The last thing you want is to be legally bounded in a relationship where you’re being sexually disappointed. At the very least, you want to be aware of the disappointment BEFORE making that existential commitment before God and all mankind.

Sex for Reproduction

The biological purpose of heterosexual sex is to continue the generation for animals and humans alike. Historically, in some countries, women were willing to have as many children as their bodies would allow. In recent times however, having many children to raise can be rather expensive. As such, the scientific community has developed numerous methods of contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Nevertheless, people are still “accidentally” having children.

The role of both the man and woman are important but by no means equal in the process of conceiving the child. Men get the easier role. Women’s bodies become the incubator for the development of the child and has the sole responsibility of giving birth to it. Some fathers even choose to abandon the mother and child. Fortunately, these days, more men are choosing to play an active role in their child’s life even if they are no longer cohabitating with the mother.

Sex and Society

Conclusively, sex plays a very important role in society. It is literally the reason why we have a society of people in the first place. As such, people often have varying opinions on sex as it relates to: 1. Who you should do it with… 2. When you should do it… and sometimes 3. how you should do it. As an individual, you have the choice of whether or not you want to do it at all. It is your body and you consent to what you want to do with it. Anyways, if you do choose to have sex, remember to do so responsibly.

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